The miracle must-have fashion item that will change your life!
OK, it’s not up there with the atrocities being inflicted on women everywhere at the moment, but I couldn’t help but comment on a piece in the Sunday Telegraph this past weekend.
“This is the best dress a woman can own”, declared the Tele in an EXCLUSIVE (caps in original) by Prue Lewington which took up almost all of page 26. This burgundy frock will, states Lewington (and I’m not making this up) “change your life.”
This incredible scoop about the frock which will “jag you a man, land you a job and make you shed five kilos….” was secured by Lewington alone. Journos all over the country must be seething that she snagged the story first.
The miracle fashion item which will give a woman all she could want in life, ticks all the boxes “according to experts in recruitment, dating and colour theory.” Wardrobe consultant at June Dally-Watkins, Dianne Cant, said it’s important not to “let any bits hang out”. The dress is perfect because it “highlights the good bits” and hides “the parts you don’t like.” And it’s modelled by a ‘plus size’ model (because God knows women over a size nothing need all the help they can get in the man stakes). Our so far unlucky-in-love purchaser discovers that if she forks out a mere $299 (budget cuts – what budget cuts?) on this love magnet apparel, she will be guaranteed to attract a man. (But what if you’ve already got a man? If you wear it does it mean you’ll end up with another man and have two men? Or what if you are perfectly happy single but like the dress? Will you end up swatting men away like flies?).
But what I really want to know is, if the dress is that good, will it also make dinner and do the washing up? Now that would be an exclusive.