Porn’s distortions need addressing in schools say educators
The ABC filmed me addressing students at Healthdale Christian College in Melbourne last Wednesday. Some of the students were interviewed – hear how well they articulate the issues! (click on image below for link to video)
MELINDA TANKARD REIST, AUTHOR, ADVOCATE FOR WOMEN AND GIRLS: Our boys are looking at porn not only before they’ve had sex, before they’ve even had their first kiss and they think what they’re seeing is normal. …
… Girls tell us that boys expect them to provide what’s known as PSE, the porn star experience. Boys expect that girls will provide for them everything they’ve seen in pornography and that the girls want that.
‘I am more than my body, don’t treat me like a piece of meat’: one young woman’s response to naked selfie ask
Received this Facebook message from Tiffany. Tiffany, hearing from girls like you makes this work all worthwhile. Thank you.
Hi Melinda. I was really touched by what you had to say and you opened my eyes to what sort of world we live in and as a 16 I’m disgusted and amazed and what girls my age have to go through. You said something about being asked for nudes and that and personally I didn’t know what you meant by that as I haven’t been asked to do that… Until today. To tell you the truth I wouldn’t of known what to do about it if you didn’t speak about it and I’m very grateful to you. The boy asked me for a photo or video and I said no that’s when he called me lame but I immediately told him I am more than just my body and you shouldn’t treat me like a piece of meat and instantly blocked him. Thank you for telling me that and I hope I have done the right thing and myself and other girls are taking part in taking action on this case and we want to make a difference. I want to help girls feel like they are worth something. So thanks again you are an inspiration to us all and I hope to join your cause.
How sexualised behaviour has become the new normal
While the content was disturbing, it was encouraging to wake up to the front page of The Australian on the weekend and see the issues myself and my colleagues write and speak about most days, reflected on the front page.
Source: The Australian
A news piece titled ‘Click bait: kids at risk as sexualised behaviour becomes “new normal”‘ by National Education Correspondent Natasha Bita, described how unsupervised internet access was spawning a generation of hypersexualised children who mimicked the adult porn they saw online. It cited warnings from psychiatrists, police and child welfare expects that the scourge of ‘sexting’, ‘selfies’ and social media was endangering children’s physical and mental health.
My colleagues, Melbourne child psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg, managing director of the Young and Well Co-operative Research Centre, and federal government cyber safety adviser Susan McLean, expressed their concerns about the impacts on children of early porn exposure. “There is overt and covert pressure on children to behave in a sexualised way,” Ms McLean says. “This shouldn’t be the new normal. The No. 1 issue I deal with in high schools is the enormous pressure from boys to girls to put out sexually through images. ”
Michael Carr-Gregg said online pornography was skewing the way teenagers viewed sex, love and intimacy. “Boys see girls as sexual service stations for their pleasure…I’m seeing it virtually every single time I have a clinic. Their idea of sex is porn sex — it’s a terrible distortion of one of the most precious and important parts of their lives, which is love and intimacy.’’
Central to the piece was the example of a selfie of a 13-year-old girl posed on Instagram last week, with the words ‘Boner Garage’ scrawled on her bare tummy. Australian author and columnist Nikki Gemmell wrote a profound and incisive response, directly to the teen girl. She has kindly given permission for me to re-print her commentary in full here.
‘Boner Garage’ girls, my heart breaks for you
Dear 13-year-old Instagrammer,
“Boner Garage.” Oh, right. So that’s what you’ve just written on your bare tummy, in your child’s scrawl, in black marking pen. You’ve helpfully added an arrow pointing downwards so we get exactly what you’re referring to. That’s what you’ve artfully photographed in your child’s bedroom as your celebratory birthday selfie. You’ve deliberately, proudly, made those two dispiriting words the focus of your shot.
Your glossy blonde hair is across your face so no one can see your features. The room behind you looks utterly normal, middle class; just like any teen’s cherished and girlie private space. I don’t know you, but you have hundreds of followers, boys and girls, and you’ve not locked your account to strangers. Happy 13th birthday. My heart breaks for you.
That you define turning 13 — that wonderful, releasing cusp in a woman’s life — by those two bleak little words. Boner garage. That you somehow get pride out of them. It’s an age marinated in symbolism, a fulcrum into growing up; a time where everything should seem celebratory and wondrous, with the world deepening around you. Symbolically, in many cultures, you become morally responsible for your actions around this age — but I just want to protect you right now.
It’s readily available on a ¬mobile phone and most teenage boys have one. They look at what their mates are looking at. That can mean anal sex, group sex, oral sex — women servicing men in the ugliest, most disempowering of ways.
Porn, of course, is sex with no light in it and the best sex is bursting with light and life. Teens need to be told this bleak and reductive world is not what normal, loving relationships are about; sex should never be violent or degrading and woman are not just sexual objects.
Doctors are seeing teenage girls presenting to them — highly embarrassed — with bowel problems because of traumatic anal sex. Because it’s what they’re ¬assuming they’re meant to do.
As for you, my birthday girl, I just wish there’d been an adult or responsible friend around to stop you posting that Insta pic. Because your electronic footprint lasts, and can be disseminated. People may well be seeing what your 13-year-old self wrote, so proudly and stupidly, in years to come. Parents see the accounts of their children’s mates; as well as friends of friends you have no idea about; teachers and principals trawl; and so, of course, does the dark side of the net, those dubious adults beyond your world.
By scrawling those ugly words on your midriff you’ve already flipped yourself into the dark side of femininity and I don’t think you even realise it. Boys won’t admire you for doing this. They’ll disrespect you, disparage you.
Source: The Australian
But that won’t stop them using you as their so-called Boner ¬Garage. And I guarantee the ¬experience will be bleak, and ¬lonely. You will not feel empowered afterwards, or cherished. You will not feel what you want more than anything in this world — loved. You will feel cheap, and used, and ugly, and alone.
And at the end of that reducing little ¬experience you will ask yourself, is that it? Is that how I’m meant to feel? And that’s why my heart breaks for you. Because I’ve been there. And I can tell you, it’s not what empowering, exhilarating and tender sex is about. Often you have to wait a long, long time to discover that. With someone you love. Where respect is mutual. Where you’re having sex on your terms; talking, laughing, working things out together; saying what you like — and what you don’t. And being listened to.
“Boner Garage” implies none of those things. How passive and inert you make a woman’s wondrous sexual organs sound. Do you think so little of your body that you view it mainly as a receptacle for males to be in? The most common web definition of Boner Garage: “A vagina that has been pounded so much by erect penises that it has become a resting place for said penises.” Pretty ugly, eh?
I wish you courage, whoever you are. Not to dim your light among men; because that light is about so much more than the garage, as you call it, between your legs. It’s about your mind, your spirit, your vividness, your strength and your voice. There are only two ways to live in this world: as a victim or a courageous fighter, and you’re coming across as a victim right now. Of this rampantly sexualised world we live in. Of its female objectification and trivialisation. And of the voracious demands of teenage social media; the craving to be popular, known, that rampant desire to get more and more precious “likes”.
This isn’t the way to go about it. You’re advocating in the most dispiriting of ways a female sexual experience that’s stripped of mystery, of reverence and transcendence and, most of all, tenderness. As Iris Murdoch said: “There is nothing like early promiscuous sex for dispelling life’s bright mysterious expectations.”
Teenage girls and boys no longer seek sex education from textbooks with anatomical diagrams, giggling friends or flustered parents; they can get it from films with titles like Teen Ass 2, which they can access on the smartphones that they carry with them at all times. This week new figures revealed that sexualised images of women on social media have led to an increase in emotional problems among young girls. Researchers from University College London believe the rise in girls aged between 11 and 13 suffering from emotional problems such as anxiety may be linked to stress brought on by seeing images of women portrayed as sex objects on Facebook, Twitter and other websites. Teenagers rarely measure self-esteem or self-worth against personal and scholastic achievements, however brilliant they are, but increasingly by how many people tell them they are ‘hot’ on the photo-sharing website, Instagram, or other forms of social media…
Sexting, Shame and Suicide: a shocking story of sexual assault in the digital age
This essay was published last September but I’ve only just come across it. I keep thinking of Audrie and her body defaced and graffitied, the images shared and consumed. Her waking in horror to discover the markings all over her body and trying frantically to scrub them off. And the ultimate horror outcome, where she can no longer face the mocking, bullying and shaming. But I must say, it’s not only in the U.S that boys take the view that if a girl is under the influence of alcohol, she deserves whatever happens (some girls take this attitude also).
I have asked boys in the schools I address: “If a girl is drunk how many of you think she’s asking for it?” In many classes, the majority of boys would raise their hands. It is a common view. There is a terrible lack of understanding about consent and the face that if she is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, she can’t exercise it and a crime has been committed if she is taken advantage of. Audrie’s tragic story shows us where that view can lead. My sympathy to her devastated family.
Rape stats may be no higher than in years past, but the numbers are as shocking as ever. Every two minutes, a sexual assault happens in the U.S., and nearly 50 percent of the victims are under the age of 18, according to Katherine Hull, a spokeswoman for the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network: “The demographic of high school- and college-age women is at highest risk for sexual assault.” More than half of the incidents go unreported, advocates say. The ability to record and communicate gang-sex assaults has added a new enhancement to an old and ugly crime against women. From Instagram to Snapchat to texting, young people with raging hormones and low impulse control are passing around what amounts to child pornography. And the bodies most frequently watched and passed around are female.
“It’s a perfect storm of technology and hormones,” says lawyer Lori Andrews, director of the Institute for Science, Law and Technology in Chicago. “Teen sexting is all a way of magnifying girls’ fantasies of being a star of their own movies, and boys locked in a room bragging about sexual conquest.”
But as of yet the law provides little protection to the rights of those violated. Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act effectively means that no Internet provider can be forced to take down content for invading a person’s privacy or even defaming them. “I could sue The New York Times for invading my privacy or Rolling Stone for defaming me,” Andrews says. “But I couldn’t sue and get my picture off a website called sluttyseventhgraders.com.” Read full article here
Boys Men and Violence
Dr Michael Flood March 5, 2014
Sexual violence is a serious social problem in Australia. According to a recent national survey, about one in six women in Australia – just under 1.5 million – has experienced sexual assault. In the past year alone, 87,800 women experienced sexual assault. Younger women are at greater risk. These are the victims, but what about perpetrators? Various studies show anywhere from 15 to 25 per cent of males have forced or pressured a girl or woman into sex or tried to do so…
Boys and young men are more likely to force or pressure a girl into sex if they have sexist and sexually hostile attitudes – they see girls as sexual objects, as less important or less valuable than males, and they feel entitled to see how far they can push things. The 2001 Australian National Crime Prevention Survey of young people aged 12 to 20 found about one in seven guys agreed that, “it’s okay for a boy to make a girl have sex with him if she has flirted with him or led him on.”
Some of the media consumed by boys and men is implicated in violence. TV, movies, music and computer games often portray women as sexual objects only, put men’s voices and lives at centre stage, and condone or even celebrate violence as entertaining and legitimate. Pornography use is increasingly common among young men, and here callous and hostile images of women are routine. In a wide range of media, boys learn that real men are tough, dominant, and aggressive. Read full article here
In 147 pages of beauty and fashion shopping, advice and advertising , along with tips on catching your “crush” this summer, there are, fortunately, a few articles that will actually help girls.
As you know, I always search for the personal stories which convey the reality of girls’ lives as well as inspiring resilience and hope. Not all girls are as carefree as the slim, sun-kissed, smooth bum-cheeked, glowing girls in the full page Rip Curl ads (as noted in the past, the re-touch free zone and claims to want to represent a diversity of bodies in young girl mag pages, has never incorporated advertising).
I commend Dolly’s editors for the piece ‘Life as a young carer’. Most of us have no idea of the reality of so many young people who care for physically and mentally ill parents or siblings. There are 347,700 young carers in Australia – about two teen carers in every classroom. 56% of young primary carers are not employed or at school. Jazelle, 18, has been primary carer for her mum since she was 10. Her mother broke her back in a motorbike accident as a teen however needed more help when she was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease five years ago. She is in and out of hospital and because she requires so much care, Jazelle does distance education. A timeline of an average day for Jazelle shows the extent of her caring role. Carers have the lowest level of wellbeing of any Australian group, with over half reporting some level of depression and need more support. Support can be found through your local Commonwealth Carer Resource Centre on 1800 242 636 or youngcarers.net.au for services in your local area. Dolly has initiated Young Carers Week (November 25 – December 1) – not much time for readers to act given this is the December issue, however hopefully the week will be more developed for next year. Readers are encouraged to reach out to any young carers at school, offer help and to send messages through Dolly to young carers. I really hope they do. Read more here.
Dolly Doctor and Oral Sex: is advice to girls clear?
Dolly Doctor this issue deals with oral sex. Parents with younger Dolly readers in the family may want to be aware of that and be prepared to talk about it with them (Dolly has featured’ Readers of the month’ who are 11). Also, although the age of consent is 16, the article opens with 15-year-old Sarah who is considering it. Consent and possible legal considerations are not mentioned.
Dolly says “even though you’re not having penetrative sex, there are still serious consequences when it comes to oral sex.” Now I’m no sexologist, but I’m not sure Dolly has got this right. Perhaps the writer means you’re not having sexual intercourse as typically understood? In the practice of fellatio, I’m pretty sure something goes into a mouth. And in male to female oral sex, a vagina can be penetrated also. I checked with Susan McLean, former policewoman of over 20 years standing and specialist on cybersafety, young people and legal issues. She responded:
Oral Sex is sex just the same as vaginal (penis/vagina) and digital (finger/vagina) and ALL are covered by age of consent laws. You can be charged with rape for example in any of the above cases. Sexual penetration laws also cover all the above plus more, anal sex and use of implements to penetrate. Consent needs to be explained as you cannot give consent under age, cannot give consent when under the influence of drugs/alcohol, cannot give consent if fearful, coerced etc
Girls are warned that they can still contract STI’s from oral sex. Emotional issues are raised. Tegan, 16, felt vulnerable even though it was with her boyfriend. “Even though I knew he cared about me, I started feeling resentment towards him. It made me realise I hadn’t done it for me and I wasn’t ready,” she said. Psychologist Gemma Cribb says: “Becoming sexual before one person is ready can damage the bond in your relationship. This is why you need to keep up communication.” Girls are told they can be comfortable with saying no. “You’ll know it’s too early if you find yourself getting anxious about the prospect of sexual intimacy, or you try avoiding one-on-one time together,” says Cribb. Readers are also reminded they can change their mind at any time.
Girls are offered 5 points to help them consider if they are ‘ready’ to “transition from kissing”. The assumption, given the subject of the piece, could be that this means from kissing to oral. Aren’t there lots of other things in between kissing and oral? In another section ‘Your Biggest Questions Answered’, given the level of pressure girls are under to provide sexual acts, (as mentioned in my previous review of Girlfriend ) the last is significant: “What if I don’t want to do it and he doesn’t want to be with me?” The response is: “It’s your body so NEVER do anything you’re not totally comfortable with. Lots of girls rush into things because they want to please their partner or think they’ll be called a prude if they wait,” says Cribb. “Linking your self-worth to sexual acts is not OK. If they’re not willing to go at your pace, they’re not worthy of you!” Read full review here
‘Operation 1 less Bully’ is a four-page case against bullying, featuring personal stories of celebrities who have joined the movement to stop it. Some were bullied, others stood up to bullies, and one recognised she was a bully in the past – Dolly’s own editorial coordinator Kelsey. With 63% of teens admitting they’re being bullied now or have been in the past, magazines have a significant role to play in efforts to address it. Dolly has teamed with the Stride Foundation, which runs workshops about bullying in schools, to “stamp out bullying one bully at a time.” The magazine will feature a ‘workshop’ on bulling each month. The first provides advice from Stride about how to respond: Be Assertive, Practice positive self-talk, Don’t be a bystander – stand up for others and Don’t blame yourself.
Another stand-out piece is Dolly’s Anti-Panic Plan’. In my view, there can’t be too many articles on this subject in girl’s mags. Stress rates in girls are through the roof. Psychologist Paula Robinson says: “Stress occurs when the perceived pressure exceeds your perceived ability to cope.” Different ways of expressing stress are explored: the hothead, silent sufferer and emotional wreck, and advice given tailored to each. Readers are also encouraged to find three things a day they can be grateful for. “When good things happen, really be present in that moment and notice what’s happening. Experience the emotion fully,” advises Robinson.
’10 How-to’s that will change your life’ include how to give a real compliment, let someone down gently, make school your happy place, have a better relationship with your mum (“Give her a little RESPECT, listen to her advice, even if you don’t agree with it at first…Listening and respectfully replying is key to making any relationship better”), remember someone’s name and keep calm when rushed. Not quite fitting into this line up is ‘Share a sweet-as kiss’ and ‘Look good in a photo’. Another ‘how-to themed’ piece is ‘How to turn a new friend into a best friend’. Read more here
A revenge porn website can be described as a platform for scorned lovers to post non-consensual nude photographs of their exes online, and get away with it. A more accurate description is that it is a hidey hole for spineless trolls who get a thrill out of actively exploiting the vulnerable.
The consequences of revenge porn have been catastrophic for the victims who, predictably, are mostly female. Women have been stalked, bullied, humiliated, isolated, lost their jobs, forced to relocate and change their surname. Some have even committed suicide. A group of women in the US have decided to file a class action lawsuit against one of the many revenge porn websites, Texxxan.com, and web hosting company GoDaddy. According to Jezebel, the suit “seeks to prosecute for invasion of privacy and mental anguish, claiming the site shared intimate photos of them submitted without their consent.”
It is almost unsurprising that misogynists have found yet another one-click-ego-fix to exact vengeance. However, if the act of revenge isn’t bad enough, the sites rake in profits from advertisers and demand money from women who ask to have their images removed. Hollie Toups, one of the 23 women who have signed onto the legal suit, has told BetaBeat that after discovering photos of herself online, she emailed the website’s owner to request they be taken down. Toups says, “They replied and said they would be happy to remove the pictures for me if I would enter my credit card information. I went from being depressed and embarrassed to being really pissed off.”
There is a deep-rooted inability to acknowledge that those posting these pictures need to be held accountable. It’s just too easy to blame the woman.
For example, one commentator states in regards to taking nude pictures, “If you do it, assume it will get out there. You are consenting by posing for the photo in the first place. That’s beyond obvious and it makes no difference if you’re posing in a bar, in a park or in a bedroom. That is the consent, period.”
Another says, “Don’t want to show your bits to the world? Keep your clothes on. It’s that simple.”
And: “Any woman stupid enough to allow anyone to take nude pics deserves to have them online. I dated a woman a while back who was the revenge type. I talked her into letting me take some pics of her in the nude. When I broke up with her and she went all crazy and would not leave me alone I had to post them on the internet to force her to leave me alone. It worked.”
This is the same twisted logic that claims a woman wearing a low-cut top “has it coming.” It echoes the sentiment that if a woman is intoxicated or goes home with a man – or heaven forbid, both – she “deserves it” or is “a prick tease.” XOjane.com writer S. E. Smith says:
In the case of private material turned public, the issue should be…cut-and-dried; someone sent data with the expectation that it would be private. And when that information is made public for purposes of humiliation, shaming, or anything else, we should be able to agree that’s not okay. Yet, a lot of people want to blame the people who send the data in the first place, arguing that they should be more careful. Because clearly the responsibility here should lie with people who think they are in a trusting relationship, not with their partners or friends. I don’t buy this argument. It falls in line with all the other things women are told to do in order to prevent assault, abuse and harassment, putting the responsibility on victims rather than the perpetrators of crimes and abuses. As long as the focus is on telling women how to ‘avoid’ becoming victims, rather than on telling people how to avoid abusing women, this is going to be a losing battle.
How have they not been shut down yet? Surely there exists a law to protect people from having their intimate photos posted online? Apparently not. It goes without saying that the victim-blaming attitude expressed above is not helping the cause. But the few women who have braved the legal system have encountered barrier after barrier:
- After reporting it to police, women are frequently told it is “on the internet and therefore out of their jurisdiction.”
- The legal fees can add up to hundreds of thousands of dollars which most cannot afford. One woman whose ex-partner uploaded photographs of the two having sex told Nerve.com, “It would cost me no less than $10,000 just to have the search result moved to page three of Google.” Not even removed; just shifted a few pages.
- Victims have been told that since they were 18 when the photographs were taken, it is “technically legal.” They are also informed that because the images have been sent to someone else, they are “technically” the property of the person in possession of them.
- According to Jezebel, site owners claim they are protected by Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act, “which states that websites are not liable for content submitted by users, [meaning] they feel free to continue to publish photos even after the women themselves ask for removal.”
- Many revenge porn victims are forced into remaining anonymous due to cyber bullying, humiliation and the possibility of exes posting even more pictures online. This makes it harder for victims to sue.
The lawsuit shows change is brewing. Another victim (who has chosen to remain anonymous) has started an online petition to make revenge porn illegal. The same woman has also created a website for victims, Women Against Revenge Porn, an information hub for those affected to share their experience and seek justice. As well, lawyers are coming forward to offer their services to revenge porn victims – for free.
Lawyer for Toups, John S. Morgan, intends to not only sue the revenge porn site and host GoDaddy, but every single one of Texxxan.com’s paid subscription members. Morgan told the Houston Chronicle, “I’m going after the revenge porn industry. Those sickos who post private information of women without their knowledge. The only way to destroy this industry is to go after the people who fund it.” In a later interview he says, “The reality of it is at some level this issue of revenge porn has to become a public discussion and a legislative discussion and it raises issues of corporate responsibility.”
Revenge porn is a gross invasion of privacy, a breach of trust, and profits from the anguish and humiliation of others. It’s time these cowards were held accountable.
‘There was no discussion of the pressure girls like Amanda experience to measure their worth through their sexual desirability’
By Meghan Murphy
The tragic story of Amanda Todd has been covered widely by the media and has impacted people across the continent. Todd was only fifteen years old when she killed herself last Wednesday after having been subjected to three years of sexual harassment and abuse both online and at school. After a man convinced her to show her breasts to him on a webcam, images of her were circulated online, which led to her being tormented, stalked, harassed, and beat up at school. Her story got both the public and the media talking about the issue of bullying, but does ‘bullying’ really describe what happened to Todd? In a culture that places an inordinate amount of value on women’s bodies and appearances, wherein younger and younger girls are being taught that they should aspire to be ‘sexy’, when pornographic imagery is mainstreamed and easily accessible, there is more to this story than simple ‘bullying’ or ‘cyberbullying’. It’s been noted that the connected issues of sexualization, misogyny and violence against women have been left out of much of the media coverage.
While there appeared to be more ‘retouch free zones’ in this issue of Dolly (you may recall I said I’d like to see more of these), there also seemed to be even less body diversity. I couldn’t see one girl who didn’t fit the mould.
Dolly has so many pages of fashion and shopping I stopped counting. It’s the bulk of the magazine.
There’s a feature interview with Jennifer Lawrence, (also Dolly’s cover girl), Hollywood’s “latest It girl” who is Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games trilogy. She’s “freaking awesome”, apparently.
“Crush Crib Notes” tells girls how to “get” the boy they like. Stealth ways (i.e lying) include: ”Tell him you’ve lost your phone and ask if he wouldn’t mind calling it so you can find it”, “If you’re friends on Facebook, private message him saying, “I’ve lost the homework question and my laptop charger is broken…can you text it to me? My number is 1800AWESOME”. (Nothing like a bit of modesty to get the man of your dreams).
You can also “Text him: ‘you were in my dream last night.’ It’s sure to get him curious”. It may get him more than curious. Surely this will be read as a come-on? (bear in mind 11 and 12-year-olds read Dolly). There’s also 5 tips for how to make eye contact.
Justin Bieber’s new perfume Someday (“NEVER LET GO with the new fragrance for her that gives back” huh?) is scattered through the magazine. Yep, a 16-year- old boy with his own perfume line. Perhaps it’s the lingerie line next?
More useful is a two page feature on not comparing yourself to others and how to stop procrastinating. Even more timely is a feature called “Bullied to Death” about Sheniz Erkan who tragically took her life just short of her 15th birthday as a response to extreme cyberbullying. The piece cites a recent Australian report revealing that 52 percent of 13-14 year olds and 29 percent of 15-16 year-olds are victims of cyberbullying.
Joanna, 17, shares a personal account of two years with The Esther Foundations’ development program which helps out troubled young women, following bullying induced depression and self- harm. The piece also provides helpful advice on what to do if you are the target of bullies.
Another important piece is about the harms of marijuana ‘The Real Deal on Marijuana’ . According to the article, 21.5 percent of teens aged 14-19 have tried cannabis. Sandra, 16, shares how she saw the life of her best friend destroyed through marijuana. “…losing your friend to pot is the scariest thing – it’s a way more dangerous drug than you might think.” There’s a breakout box on ‘How to say No to marijuana’.
There’s a few pages on boys ‘extreme hotness’, ‘model of the month’, ‘homegrown hottie’, ‘hot factor’ (‘Did someone say T.A.S.T.Y?’)…You get the picture.
First person accounts from Dolly readers include a 17-year-old Speedway driver, a teen mum, an 18-year-old fighting to protect sharks from poachers, a 14-year-old athlete with an artificial leg, an 18- year-old ballerina, a girl with a “mystery illness”, another who survived an earthquake and a 14-year- old who stars in Nine’s ‘Tricky Business’.
Last month I wrote critically about the revival of Dolly’s Model search. This issue we meet past Dolly model search winners. Even a quick glance at the cover images from the 80’s and 90’s show just how much airbrushing and photo-shopping have changed the images we would see now.
Next issue we’re going to meet the state finalists of the Dolly Model Search. Guess I’ll have more to say then.
According to a report in the Daily Telegraph today, Southern Cross Austereo has no plans to move Kyle Sandilands on from his slot with Jackie O on 2DAYFM.
This is despite widespread condemnation of his recent on-air abuse of a female News Ltd journalist in which he threatened to hunt her down and 26 advertisers pulling out of the show resulting in an estimated loss of $8million.
If the report is true, it means Southern Cross Austereo has no issue with Sandiland’s public vilification, insults, threats and bullying of a woman who disagrees with him. He can call a woman a ‘fat slag’, a ’piece of shit’ who doesn’t have ‘enough titty’ and who he will hunt down if she doesn’t ‘watch her mouth’ and continue to be enabled to do so by his employers. I wonder what more does Sandilands have to do to warrant dismissal? Reports that Sandilands was secure came after earlier reports that Austereo was surveying listeners seeking their views on whether Sandilands should be fired.
A spokesperson said they survey was being conducted out of ‘due diligence’. Asking die-hard Sandilands fans their opinion is hardly ‘due diligence’. Due diligence would be taking a zero tolerance approach to the misogynist and bullying behaviour of an employee. Austereo has essentially broadcast a message to its listeners that it’s acceptable to verbally abuse women and that you won’t be punished for engaging in it.
One positive in all this is the extraordinary response to a petition targeted to sponsors, launched on Change.org.
Here’s an update from Change. Note the sponsors who have not resumed advertising for 2012. Especially note those for whom it appears to be business as usual.
More than 26,000 people have signed Emily Hehir’s petition calling for 2Day FM advertisers to withdraw their support of Kyle Sandilands. Your support has sent them a clear message that it’s unacceptable to financially support a radio host who uses phrases like “fat slag”, “you’re a piece of sh*t” and “I will hunt you down” to attack a journalist.
The media storm and consumer backlash has resulted in up to 60% of advertisers on the Kyle and Jackie O show withdrawing, at a cost to Austereo of $8 million. Despite this, Sandilands and his employers are breathing a sigh of relief — Sandilands is off air for summer and they’re hoping attention on Sandilands will fade away and allow advertisers to return next year. But Vodafone, Blackmores, and McDonalds have committed to not advertising on any radio show hosted by Kyle Sandilands in 2012 — can you help other petition signers build pressure on other major advertisers to follow Vodafone and rule out advertising on Sandilands’ shows in 2012? There’s also a group just started by one Change.org member for people to take regular and ongoing action on this issue — you can join by signing a pledge here.
Here are the brands that haven’t ruled out a return to Sandilands in 2012, and their facebook details in case you want to leave them a message:
Here are the brands that have committed to not advertising on shows hosted by Kyle Sandilands in 2012. Find out exactly what the companies had to say in the petition updates here.
Tourism New Zealand ✓
University of Western Sydney ✓
The Good Guys ✓
Virgin Mobile ✓
Macquarie University ✓
Crazy Johns ✓
While brands were quick to withdraw ads supporting Kyle Sandilands a few weeks ago, Austereo will be hoping that they can talk them around to returning in 2012. If you’re interested in taking regular and ongoing action on this campaign, one Change.org member has started a select group for people to organise together — you can join by signing a pledge here.
Antoinette Jones – Principal – Mitcham Girls High School
“Intelligent, passionate, brilliant, fearless… I could not recommend her more highly”
Dr Michael Carr-Gregg
“You continue to reset my shock meter…”
“As a teacher and parent I recommend all parents, in fact all people, to attend a talk by Melinda- it will open your eyes and awaken your subconscious.”
Heather Douglas – Parent – Pembroke School
“Melinda’s presentations to our parents, staff and full day workshops to students was inspirational, transforming the attitudes and thinking of all involved”
Paul Teys – Principal – Hunter Valley Grammar
“Melinda Tankard Reist’s presentation to Middle and Upper School students at Pymble Ladies’ College was absolutely brilliant!”
Justine Hodgson – English Faculty, Pymble Ladies’ College
“Melinda Tankard Reist has had a transformational affect on our school.”
Ms Stephanie McConnell, Principal – Turramurra High School
“As you read, be prepared to feel both grief and rage.” Robert Jensen
“These accounts are among the most unsettling you will ever read.” Steve Biddulph
“This powerful and humane book is a breakthrough…Big Porn Inc shows us we are poisoning our own spirits.” – Steve Biddulph
“A landmark publication” – Clive Hamilton
Purchase Big Porn Inc, Getting Real, Faking It, Men of Honour, Sexts Texts & Selfies, Raising Girls, Raising Boys, MTR DVD, Ruby Who? DVD & book, Girl Wise guide to friends, Girl Wise guide to being you, Girl Wise guide to life and Girl Wise guide to taking care of your body, and the new Wise Guys for the combined discounted price of $250.
‘The foremost authority in Australia cyber safety lays it on the line and challenges parents to find their digital spine.’ – Dr Michael Carr-Gregg
Whether it is problems with friends, worrying about how you look or just feeling a bit down in the dumps – these books are written especially for you – to help you in your journey. Purchase all four together and save $18.50 on postage! Author: Sharon Witt
In this DVD, Melinda takes us on a visual tour of popular culture. “Melinda’s presentation leaves audiences reeling. She delivers her message with a clarity and commonsense without peer.” – Steve Biddulph, author, Raising Boys, Raising Girls
In this easy-to-read updated book, Steve Biddulph shares powerful stories and give practical advice about every aspect of boyhood.
“Overflowing with incisive understandings…a comprehensive and in-depth guide.” – Dr Michael Carr-Gregg, Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychologist
Men of Honour -written by Glen Gerreyn- encourages and inspires young men to take up the challenge to be honourable. Whether at school, in sport, at work or in relationships, we must develp our character to achieve success and experience the thrills life has on offer.
Purchase the Ruby Who? DVD and book together for only $35 saving 10% off the individual price.
“Getting Real contains a treasure trove of information and should be mandatory reading for all workers with young people in health, education and welfare” – Dr Michael Carr-Gregg, Adolescent Psychologist
Do you read women’s lifestyle magazines? Have you thought about how magazines might affect you when you read them? Faking It reflects the body of academic research on magazines, mass media, and the sexual objectification of women.
Ruby Who? is the sweet and innocent story of a little girl’s adventure in re-discovering her identity. Ruby wishes for so many things and dreams of being like others. Will she end up forgetting how to just be herself?
Ruby Who? is the sweet and innocent story of a little girl’s adventure in re-discovering her identity. Ruby wishes for so many things and dreams of being like others. Will she end up forgetting how to just be herself?
Defiant Birth challenges widespread medical, and often social aversion to less than perfect pregnancies or genetically different babies. It also features women with disabilities who were discouraged from becoming pregnant at all.