Urgent call to action!

Tomorrow morning we are calling on all our South Australian supporters to join together in a ‘Collective Shout’ against Wicked Campers.

There will be a gathering at 9:30am on the steps of Parliament House, right before a bill will be debated to deregister vans that breach the advertising code.

Between now and then will you email your local member and encourage them to support this bill? MPs need to know this is an issue the community cares about.

Here are 4 key points to help get you started. Express these in your own words.

1. Wicked Campers are notorious for their sexually explicit slogans and imagery, even advocating rape and murder.
2. Ad Standards has upheld complaints more than 80 times but with no power to enforce its ruling and no penalties, Wicked Campers ignores every notice.
3. Queensland, Tasmania, NT and ACT have passed laws to deregister vans that breach the code and do not remove the offensive slogans.
4. Please follow the lead of MPs in these states and back the bill to stop Wicked Campers’ sexist actions, for the benefit of South Australians like me.

As well as continuing with the calls and emails to Minister Stephan Knoll please contact the following key people:

Premier Stephen Marshall

dunstan@parliament.sa.gov.au

Stephen.marshall@parliament.sa.gov.au

08 8363 9111

Deputy Premier and Attorney General Vickie Chapman

bragg@parliament.sa.gov.au

Vickie.chapman@parliament.sa.gov.au

08 8332 4799

Paula Luethen

king@parliament.sa.gov.au

paula.luethen@parliament.sa.gov.au

8288 8218

Carolyn Power – Assistant Minister for Domestic and Family Violence Prevention

elder@parliament.sa.gov.au

Carolyn.power@parliament.sa.gov.au

8374 1939

Dan Van Holst Pellekaan – Energy Minister and Co-Convenor of Parliamentarians United Against Domestic Violence

stuart.portaugusta@parliament.sa.gov.au

dem.ministerVHP@sa.gov.au

8642 3633

Frank Pangallo – SA Best Member of the Legislative Council

Frank.pangallo@parliament.sa.gov.au

8237 9100

It is so important we get as many people as possible to call or write before the bill is debated tomorrow. And we hope to see you on the steps of Parliament House at 9.30am tomorrow morning! 

Lets get it done!

What happened to your body image and self-respect policies Girlfriend mag?

In the year 2013, I wrote the ‘Girl Mag Watch’ reviews for Generation Next, which were published on the website of the youth mental health social enterprise and in its newsletters to thousands of subscribers. I reviewed Girlfriend and Dolly (an example of a review can be found here).

After years of criticism the mag, leading up to my becoming a reviewer for Gen Next, I started to notice that Girlfriend was improving. I didn’t have as much cause to be critical. In fact, I found myself commending Girlfriend for publishing positive content to help girls navigate life’s challenges. Unexpectedly, on March 26, 2013, I received an email from then editor Sarah Tarca. She was “genuinely excited” to see a positive review in GF’s March issue.

Would I be interested in meeting? She said she would be pleased to hear my concerns face-to-face and that “I truly want Girlfriend to be a magazine that has a positive influence on teens”. Three months later, with Collective Shout’s chair and Body Matters Australasia co-director Sarah McMahon, I found myself in a café with Sarah Tarca and head of Pacific Magazines youth department Mychelle Vandbury. The meeting went well, and we were persuaded that GF had learnt from errors of the past and was genuine in its intention to be a good influence on girls, especially at a time of distressing mental health figures and growing body image dissatisfaction in girls.

But now, five years after this mutually beneficial exchange, things appear to have gone downhill at the teen mag. So much for the positive body image and diversity commitments. So much for the ‘Self-respect’ checklist. We’ve posted on this at Collective Shout (reprinted below). I am certain this would not have happened under Sarah Tarca’s watch. Girlfriend, surely our girls deserve better.

by Kathy Parker via 10Daily

Honey Birdette has once again become a hot topic in the media over risqué floor-to-ceiling advertisements in their Westfield shopping centre stores across Australia.

This time last year, Melbourne father Kenneth Thor started a Change.org petition to stop Honey Birdette from using porn-style advertising in family-friendly shopping centres after his two young children were exposed to images he felt “depicted women in hyper-sexualised poses and various states of undress, introducing concepts of pornography and sexuality to a hapless public, including little 4-year-old girls like my daughter”.

Yet managing director Eloise Monaghan dismissed the petition, stating it ridiculous to label the advertisements as porn, even though Honey Birdette have had three of their recent adverts accused of being in line with the porn industry, as well as just receiving their 20th advertisement ban by Ad Standards, with the advert deemed over-sexualised based on the complaints it received.

However, both Honey Birdette and Westfield have failed to take action against the complaints and the petition has regained momentum after Melinda Tankard Reist, co-founder of Collective Shout, a grass-roots campaigning movement against the objectification of women and sexualisation of girls in media and advertising, posted an image on her Facebook page with a link to the petition, commenting, “Bought to you by that #malechampionofchange Scentregroup Westfield (full size window display at my local Westfield this afternoon). Help us reach 100,000 signatures by Christmas!”

Read full article here.

See also: ‘How is this allowed at shopping centres?’, Sherele Moody, Courier Mail

                  Collective Shout responds to common defences of Honey Birdette sexploitation

Sign the petition here

Sign the petition – together we can end Wicked Campers’ mobile misogyny once and for all

Wicked Campers are notorious for their sexually explicit slogans and imagery, even advocating rape and murder.

Ad Standards has upheld complaints against Wicked Campers’ slogans and imagery more than 80 times; but with no power to enforce rulings and no penalties, the company ignores every notice.

Not even a petition signed by 126,000 people initiated by an 11 year old – upset by a slogan referring to girls as ‘sluts’ – could get Wicked Campers to change its ways.

Since then, Tasmania, ACT and Queensland have passed laws to deregister Wicked if it doesn’t abide Ad Standards Rulings.

We are calling on MPs to enact similar legislation in other states – Western Australia, South Australia, New South Wales and Victoria. This will close the loophole that allows de-registered Wicked Campers to cross the boarder and re-register in other states.

Together we can get this done – Sign the petition today

See also: 

QLD passes laws against Wicked Camper’s women-hating slogans

We at Collective Shout have been protesting Wicked Camper’s misogynist, sexist, violent and rapey car slogans for almost nine years. At a time when we are ‘Counting Dead Women’ here and globally, the boys at Wicked come up with slogans like this: Read more here

Youth advocate shares views on the sexualisation of our kids

[UPDATE]

OPEN INVITATION – Parents and Community Session Hosted by Coolum Beach Christian College

This is a free event with child minding provided. Click here for more info:  https://www.facebook.com/events/680485449009905

As published in the Sunshine Coast Daily

SUNSHINE Coast parents and carers who wonder if their children are growing up too quickly and are worried about self-image and confidence are invited to a free presentation at Matthew Flinders Anglican College on Tuesday, July 17.

Flinders principal Stuart Meade encouraged parents and carers of students in Years 4-12 to hear from respected Sydney author, speaker and youth advocate Melinda Tankard Reist, who will share her enlightening 75-minute presentation Too Much, Too Young.

Leading child psychologist and author of Raising Girls and Raising Boys, Steve Biddulph, describes Melinda as “… probably the world’s best presenter on the damage advertisers and pornography do to our children and teens – often when we don’t even know.

“Her highly visual presentations will knock your socks off.

“You will be left angry in the very best way and be so much better equipped to talk to, and protect, your kids.”

Melinda’s presentation explores the impact of hyper-sexualized messages from media and popular culture on our children and young people.

Presented as part of the Flinders Speakers Series, the talk is open to all parents and carers on the Sunshine Coast to encourage partnerships between school, home and the community to learn positive ways to support and guide our young people to enjoy healthy lives and schooling journeys.

“Many young people are being swept along in the tidal wave of ‘pornification’ which engulfs their world and they need to know it should not be normalised and they do not have to buy into it,” Mr Meade said.

“The issues of sexual assault, consent, respect and identity are ones which many young people also deal with.

“Melinda is one of the pre-eminent speakers in the country on these topics and her ability to relate to her audiences is well-known.”

Drawing from current global literature on the subject, Melinda will explore with parents and friends how the proliferation of sexualised images and messages contributes to a distorted view of bodies, relationships and sexuality, hampering their children’s healthy physical, emotional and social development.

“The lives of young people are increasingly socialised, conditioned and informed by porn-related content online,” she said.

“They are exposed to this content not only before they have had sex, but often before their first kiss, with 11 years being the average age of first exposure.

“In this pornified landscape, young people are acting out through social media and sexting, putting their bodies on display for attention and judgement.”

The powerful presentation will explore how parents, carers and the broader community can address this toxic culture and raise happy, healthy and resilient kids.

Parents must book their free tickets to secure their seats. Visit www.trybooking.com/WJEJ

Company apologises for ‘error’ after outcry including from eating disorder specialists

It’s so good to be able to share another win with supporters. This one thanks to 13-year-old Melbourne teen Naomi, who spotted this billboard advertising the DFO at Morabbin Airport in Melbourne.

Naomi told her mother, long time supporter Gloria Anderson, who texted me the images and her daughter’s comments.

“I knew it was wrong because it was promoting anorexia, sending a message that you need to be skinny to be fashionable, which is obviously not true.”

I then posted on my Facebook pages and of course took to twitter.

DFO Morabbin appears to have missed the memo about the distressing levels of body hatred, disordered eating behaviours and the harmful impacts of dieting especially in our young women. This shocker spotted today on the corner of Lower Dandenong Road and Boundary Road for Moorabbin Airport DFO. Let them know what you think! Ph 03 95830344 and leave a msg on their FB page.

My colleague Sarah McMahon, co-founder of Collective Shout and Director of BodyMatters Australasia weighed in, posting this comment on DFO’s Facebook page:

Using an advertisement that pitches DFO as the solution to people who are “starving” (an obvious pun regarding eating disorders, body shame and the fashion industry) ultimately glamourises and trivialises what can be a life threatening mental health condition.

Eating disorders require professional, evidence based treatments for sufferers, and the broader issue of societal body shame requires an ongoing, strategic and sophisticated public health intervention.

Suggesting shopping at a DFO be the solution may seem innocent and lighthearted however ultimately it feeds into a dangerous message that leaves sufferers stigmatised, marginalised and unable to access the help they deserve.

Only 24 hours later, DFO responded:

Hi Melinda and Sarah,

We appreciate you tagging us and highlighting your concerns.

We sincerely apologise for any offence or distress this billboard has caused, it was certainly not our intention and a genuine mistake on our behalf.

The messaging that was installed on the billboard outside DFO Moorabbin was incorrect and was never meant to have been part of the DFO campaign. This billboard was installed by mistake, and we are working urgently to remove it today. This tagline was rejected by our team as it makes light of a serious mental health and wellbeing issue, and goes against our core value of embracing difference. The artwork was accidentally sent through for production as a result of human error.

We take the issues of eating disorders and body image very seriously. The wellbeing of our customers is of paramount importance to us, and we understand the role we play in promoting a healthy message for our customers, retailers and the wider community.

We hope we have addressed your concerns, and again, we are sorry for any upset or pain that this billboard may have caused you and members of the community, and we thank you for taking the time to let us know.

Regards, The DFO Moorabbin team

Shortly after, the company confirmed the billboard was taken down today.

It is natural to ask how such a serious error could be made, and if DFO is holding anyone in the company accountable. As supporter Jazz wrote on my personal Facebook page: “Glad to see they have made a genuine apology, but How does the ‘wrong’ artwork ‘accidentally ‘ get installed on a huge ass billboard?”

It’s a good question and important to consider so that the mistake doesn’t happen again. However, we appreciate the company’s quick action and accept their apology.

I hope this latest victory, propelled because of the concerns of people like you, encourages you to remain vigilant and keep up the fight!

And special thanks to Naomi.

Content warning: This piece contains references to rape and violence against women that may be distressing.

This week, Noisey, Vice’s music channel, published a piece in defence of rap artist Tyler the Creator. The article, entitled ‘#FreeTylerTheCreator And Reject Theresa May’s Dumb Logic’ painted Tyler as a victim of racism and ignorance, and presented misinformation about campaigns against him.

The piece opens by describing a “moving” performance by TTC, summed up with the following statement:

“This – a peaceful lover of nature – is an artist who remains banned from entering the UK under any circumstances.”

It’s hard to imagine such a “peaceful lover of nature” could be behind lyrics like “rape a pregnant bitch and tell my friends I had a threesome”, or a wealth of others glorifying rape and extreme violence against women, murder, mutilating women’s genitals, stuffing them into car boots, trapping them in his basement, raping their corpses and burying their bodies.

The author suggests there is no basis for TTC to be refused access into any country, and that bans were motivated by racism:

“It was a very blatant case of making an example out of someone for no reason other than the fact that he’s black and angry and all the other countries under the Queen’s rule were doing it.”

The author’s lack of research doesn’t end there, with the article incorrectly stating that after being banned from entering New Zealand in 2014, TTC became the focus of Collective Shout.

Collective Shout first campaigned against Tyler the Creator in June of 2013, not because he is “black and angry”, but due to his songs advocating rape and violence against women, often defended by his fans as ‘art’. In the course of our campaign, young activist Talitha Stone wrote a tweet accusing Tyler the Creator of promoting misogyny. TTC responded by sharing her tweet with his millions of followers, who predictably jumped at the opportunity to prove their loyalty by threatening to rape and murder Talitha, with police involvement required after one fan tweeted her home address.

Just days later, Tyler launched into an abusive tirade against Talitha who was in the crowd at his Sydney concert, calling her a bitch, whore and c*** as concertgoers cheered. He then proceeded to dedicate the song ‘Bitch Suck Dick’ to her, which contains the lyrics “You dead bitch, I’m hot as f*ck…Punch a bitch in her mouth just for talkin’ shit”.

Is this still ‘art’?

The following year, in February 2014, because of his incitement to violence against Talitha- a specific, named individual, who he singled out for retribution- New Zealand’s Immigration Department barred him entry to the country.  Government officials also cited an incident from 2011 in Boston, where members of Odd Future encouraged fans to attack police officials, leaving one police officer hospitalised. In 2015, TTC was arrested after inciting a riot at one of his performances, as he told people outside the gates to push though, leading the chant “PUSH PUSH PUSH”, with hundreds of people rushing in.

In June 2015, when TTC was set to return to Australia, Collective Shout again called on Immigration to revoke his visa on the basis that he propagated discriminatory ideas about women, representing a danger to Australian women on the potential basis of incitement to acts of hatred and violence. He had already proven this in going after Talitha. We argued that welcoming artists who glorify misogyny and degrade women for entertainment undermined Australia’s National Plan to Reduce Violence Against Women and their Children 2010-2022.

Shortly after, Tyler the Creator announced on Twitter that he had been banned from Australia- despite Immigration denying this was the case. TTC singled out and tagged Collective Shout’s Operations Manager at the time, Coralie Alison in a tweet and identified her as being responsible for his cancelled tour. Once again, TTC knowingly incited threats of violence and rape against a specific woman as retribution. Coralie was inundated with tweets describing the detailed and gruesome ways in which they would murder her, and to this day, still receives regular threats.

A couple of months later, at the end of August 2015 TTC reported he had been denied entry to the UK. This determination, according to the author of Noisey’s article, was “a very blatant case of making an example out of someone for no reason other than the fact that he’s black and angry”. A more likely conclusion is that the ban was a direct result of his sexually violent lyrics and repeated incitement to violence against specific women, for “encouraging violence” and “fostering hatred” as Immigration claimed.

The article goes on to conflate opposition to Tyler’s misogyny and incitement of violence against women with support for racism and neo Nazis. The attempt to frame women’s opposition to recording artists who glorify rape and violence against women as racism is beneath contempt. Women, including rape survivors, who condemn TTC’s glorification of their abuse, are not motivated by racism, but out of a commitment to women’s human rights.

Collective Shout has campaigned and called out a range of recording artists for misogyny and vilifying women – including Eminem, Robin Thicke, Brian McFadden, Redfoo, self-confessed pimp Snoop Dogg, and more.

In the wake of the #MeToo movement, many people are starting to recognise the well-documented connection between a culture of casual sexism, misogyny and routine denigration of women, and real-life physical and sexual violence against women. They know we don’t need to #FreeTylertheCreator, because he’s not a victim. He’s someone who has succeeded in normalising hostile and hateful attitudes against women among his primarily young male fans. The same ones who threatened to murder women they’d never met for disagreeing with them, who encouraged them to drink bleach and threatened to rape them with a lead pipe.

Perhaps Tyler has evolved as both an artist and a human being. If this is the case, then he should take responsibility for what he has done- using his platform to promote misogyny and violence against women for his own financial gain, and inciting violence against women who objected to his hateful, anti-woman lyrical content.

See also:

Collective Shout responds to common arguments from Tyler the Creator fans– Collective Shout

A discussion about Freedom of Speech and Tyler the Creator– Collective Shout

The issue is misogyny, not race– Dr Caroline Norma

Inciting violence against women isn’t art– Collective Shout

*Content warning: This post contains descriptions of men’s violence against women and may be distressing*

This week a supporter contacted us after coming across a disturbing image on Golfporn’s Facebook page. The picture, which showed a woman being kicked off a cliff after suggesting her male partner sell his golf clubs, “did not violate community standards”, according to Facebook. It had been shared over 1500 times.

It is an unsettling image for many who understand the shocking reality of domestic violence and murders of women.

Not a joke, but a reality

This isn’t an absurd abstract scenario – it is a real-life and often life-ending scenario for many women.

In 2015, Harold Henthorn was sentenced to life in prison after pushing his wife Toni 130 feet off a cliff while hiking in Colorado’s Rocky Mountain National Park to celebrate their anniversary.

Brisbane man Daniel Brookes was arrested in 2015 having been accused of killing his girlfriend Maria Elena Huilcanina Ocampo by throwing her off a balcony. The couple were heard having an argument before security footage showed her body fall. Her sister said that Maria had blood under her nails when she fell.

Simon Gittany was found guilty of murdering his fiancée Lisa Harnum by throwing her off the balcony of a Sydney high rise apartment block.

At trial, witness Joshua Rathnell recalled hearing “deranged screaming” and looked up to see someone “unloading” something from the building.

”I saw the man load the object off the balcony, and in what I described as a fluid motion, turned and went straight back into the apartment.”

Rathnell later realised the object he saw was Ms Harnum’s body.

At the time of Gittany’s conviction, Justice McCallum said Ms Harnum must have been “in a state of complete terror in the last moments before her death”.

Earlier this year, Alexander Kenneth McIntyre pleaded guilty to assault charges after he held a woman by the neck against a balcony and told her he would drop her to her death and “happily do 16 years” in jail. Holding a knife, he threatened her “I will cut your head off, c***.” A crying child was also present.

Last year, Loren Bunner was sentenced to 52 years in prison after murdering his 18-year-old ex-girlfriend Jolee Callan while they were hiking together. He shot her in the back of the head and in between the eyes before shoving her off a 40- foot cliff. Bunner bragged to cell mates about killing Ms Callan, claiming that if he couldn’t have her no one else could.

New South Wales man Des Campbell was found guilty of killing his new wife Janet Campbell by pushing her off a cliff. The prosecution told the court that Ms Campbell was “worth more to her husband dead than alive” because he needed her money to pay off his debts.

Given this awful reality, how can casual joking about pushing one’s wife off a cliff be regarded as humorous? Joking about violence against women is sinister in its apathy and callous attitude to women whose lives ended this way.

Trivialising acts of abuse

Dr Kristin Diemer, one of the lead researchers and authors on the National Community Attitudes Survey on Violence Against Women, noted that excusing the abuse of women as a joke “minimises the impact of violence against women”.

“Few Australians openly support violence against women, but many others subtly endorse it by trivialising and excusing acts of abuse.”

Media has an impact on attitudes and behaviours. That a social media post making light of violence against women is so popular and unremarkable both reflects and perpetuates our desensitisation to these horrific crimes.

Dr Diemer concluded:

“Community attitudes on violence against women are an important barometer on gender relations. They illustrate the way people respond when they witness violence, whether victims feel confident to seek help, and whether perpetrators are likely to be excused or held to account for their actions. Changing attitudes is crucial to preventing crises in the longer term. Community attitudes shape the way we respond to domestic violence.”

We can’t address men’s violence against women while simultaneously making light of it. Violence against women is not a joke.

Reprinted from Collective Shout

Guest post by Jessica Eaton via Collective Shout

This blog contains a discussion of violent language to discuss sex, sexual violence and porn. It also contains the titles to real porn films that a lot of people may find disturbing. Please take care of yourself whilst reading this and seek support after reading if you need to.

As a massive old skool (and sometimes new skool) RnB, Rap and Hip Hop fan, I often find myself experiencing some pretty serious cognitive dissonance to try to enjoy my music without yelling at the radio or crying into my crisps.
As a younger feminist, I used to tell myself that it was okay that women were called bitches and hoes because that’s the way that artist chose to express themselves (I know, I know, so progressive).

As I got older, I started to resent the use of the word ‘bitch’ in my once-favourite songs. I stopped listening to some artists because I couldn’t stand the way they spoke about women and sex. The next challenge was dealing with the rise of female artists using ‘bitch’ and ‘nasty hoe’ to describe themselves. I thought the rise of female MCs, rappers and writers would eliminate this constant woman-hating but it didn’t. Nicki, Cardi B, Lil Kim, Missy Elliott – they made me wanna two-step and cry at the same time.

(Edit: I would just like to add that misogynistic and rape-glorifying lyrics are found in Death Metal too so this issue clearly isn’t unique to my music preferences, but I have never listened to it so didn’t know until someone told me today! Here’s a link.)

It is often the case in music that women sing about loving men and men sing about f*cking women. And it’s this that I want to talk about.

I noticed recently that the range of ways men sing, rap and talk about having sex with women has become inherently violent. They aren’t talking about ‘getting jiggy’ or ‘having fun’ or ‘doing the deed’ – I mean, they are not even calling it sex anymore. Not only that, but they are not even naming or identifying the woman anymore.

I decided to sit and think about all the violent ways men describe having sex with women these days, and came up with this list in about 3 minutes. I am sure there are many more and people will contact me with others.

List of violent terms to describe having sex with women:

Hit that
Hurt that
Smash that
Smack that
F**k that
Merc that
Destroy that
Crush that
Beat that p***y up
Beat it up
Ruin that
Bang that
Nail that

There are two main points here. The first is that sex is being described in very violent terms and the second is that the word ‘that’ is used in place of ‘her’ to objectify the woman they are talking about. These men aren’t saying ‘I would love to have sex with her’ or ‘I would shag her’ or even ‘I would f**k her’ – they are saying ‘I would f**k that’. ‘That’ is not a pronoun. ‘That’ is not a name. ‘That’ is used for objects. I’ll come back to this point.

The first point is the violence in the language. Hit. Destroy. Ruin. Bang. Beat up. Smash. Smack. Hurt. These are words that describe violence and injury. They don’t describe sex. They don’t describe the type of sex any woman wants to have.

When I started to search the terms I had heard and read, I easily found memes, articles, discussions and blogs using this language about women in a completely normalised way. Men saying to their friends ‘The girl next door, I would ruin that!’ or ‘She’s gonna get it hard. Beat that p***y up!’ The image of all of the guys saying they would rape the sleeping girl on the sofa. I found hundreds of song lyrics like the ones I have listened to.

Gucci Mane released a song called ‘Beat it up’ about having sex with women. So did Slim Thug. So did Chris Brown. And no, I’m not talking about one song they all featured on, I’m talking about three separately produced songs about ‘beating that p***y up’.

Here are the lyrics from Slim Thug:

Guess what? I’m f**kin tonight
Whether you know it or not, Ima beat that pussy right
Yeah I’m f**kin tonight, Ima beat it up

In song lyrics, R Kelly says he ‘beats the p***y up like Django’and Lil Wayne says he ‘beat that p***y up like Emmett Till’.

Chris Brown says he f**ks women back to sleep in ‘Back to sleep’. I don’t really know why he would want to make a woman he has sex with fall asleep but the song lyrics are creepy as shit:

F**k you to sleep, wake you up again, I go so deep, beat it up again
Just let me rock, f**k you back to sleep, girl
Don’t say no, girl, don’t you talk
Just hold on tight to me, girl
F**k you back to sleep, girl.

The issue here is that these influential men in our popular culture and music industry are openly using sexually violent references to having sex with women and then every day adults (and children) are singing along to Chris Brown riffin’ about the women he wakes up to make them have sex with him again when they are too tired. We are so oblivious to what we are listening to, this language quickly becomes the norm.

One article I found listed every artist they could find who referred to sex as ‘beating the p***y up’ and they found over 15 current male artists using that term in hit songs. Jay-Z to Lil Wayne – they were all describing sex as harming women.

After searching for evidence on each one of the terms I listed above, I found a website discussing what ‘destroy that’ and ‘ruin that’ meant and was surprised to find how open men were when talking about what they meant. I had thought that maybe it was being used semi-consciously by men who were using it in banter, but they were using it literally. One page defined it as ‘having sex with her so rough that you cause injuries, the more physical injuries the rougher it probably was’. One man said he used it with his friends to mean destroying or ruining a ‘nice girl’ by having very aggressive sex with her or by taking her virginity.

It reminded me of a film I watched (and use in my teaching) about mail order brides and the way white, wealthy guys were buying and sexually exploiting women as servile brides from deprived areas. There was this one guy who used military metaphors to discuss meeting and having sex with potential brides. He made my skin crawl.

He is sat in a dark club when he says to the camera:

“Uh, the search and destroy mission for today is to circulate, work the room, identify a target and go for it. If plan A doesn’t work, I retreat, rally the troops and then go out and then try plan B uhh to capture the target.”

He doesn’t even say woman. He doesn’t even talk about humans. He talks about destroying and identifying targets.

This links to the second point I wanted to make – that this language dehumanises and dementalises women – it reduces them to their ‘p***y’ or their ‘ass’ that the men are going to ‘hurt’ or ‘hit’ or ‘crush’ or ‘beat that up’. They no longer converse about sex in human terms – they talk in metaphors and disconnected, dehumanised language. They refer to women as ‘that’ or they only talk about her body parts. She is there to be used, abused and hurt for their pleasure.

Where is this sexually violent language coming from?

Well, sorry to be the not-the-fun-kind-of-feminist, but its porn and societal misogyny. There is no doubt about where this is coming from. Work by people like Julia Long and Gail Dines has long told us that porn has become more and more violent, with Long (2012) arguing that over 90% of porn now features violence against women including hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, hurting, whipping and deliberately painful and extremely degrading sex acts.

You only have to look at the titles of porn films on Pornhub or X Videos to see the way they describe women in violent and degrading terms to see where this is coming from.

Here are some examples that are on porn sites today (18th May 2018):

‘Passed out slut letting me f**k her brains out’ (this film is of a clearly unconscious young girl being raped on Pornhub)
‘Unwanted painful anal’ (another allowed to stay on Pornhub despite clearly describing a rape)
‘Rip her up’ (the name of a series of videos in which women are raped)
‘Blonde babe gets brutally slapped and f**ked’
‘Beauty humiliated and ruined – BRUTAL’
‘Teen gets anally destroyed – hear her real screams and crying’
‘Heavily pregnant teen used by men’ (Pornhub allows this!)

We must talk about the way that violent materials depicting the rape and abuse of women and teenage girls is becoming the norm. Actually not the norm, the goal. The harm of women is becoming glorified, not normalised. When women like Long, Dines, Bindel and Blac talk to us about violence in porn, they are not talking about a light tap, they are not taking anything out of context or exaggerating, they are talking about the sexualisation of choking women, beating women up, raping women on camera and hurting them so badly during sex acts that they cry out for help, pass out or scream in pain.

It hasn’t taken long, but this acceptance and arousal of sexual violence against women has slipped into common everyday language about sex with women. Role models in hip hop, rap and RnB are using this language in their hit songs. Children and adults are singing along to these lyrics. Hit that. Hurt it. Beat that p***y up. Smash that. Destroy that. Ruin it.

In a study conducted in 2006, Fischer and Greitmeyer found that men who listened to sexually aggressive and violent lyrics were more likely to choose for women to suffer painful situations than the men who had listened to normal music lyrics in a controlled study. In a follow up study, men listening to misogynistic lyrics were more likely to subject women to ice-water-treatment than men who did not listen to the misogynistic lyrics.

However, its incomplete to argue that these lyrics and language only affect men and boys – the reality is that these lyrics, language, imagery and porn affects women and girls too. They are also absorbing these messages as normal, and as shown by the work on hypersexualisation of girls by the APA in 2007, girls and women normalise and accept these sexually violent behaviours because they have been taught by society that they are supposed to enjoy them.

Adding sexually violent lyrics to some of the bestselling songs in the world is a clear method of normalising male violence against women and girls.

What can we do about this?

Parents and Carers of children and young people

If you are a parent of an older child, there is absolutely no point in trying to protect them from these lyrics – they are everywhere! Instead, focus on bringing your children up to be critical thinkers and media-savvy. Teach them that everything they see in the media, music, advertising and news outlets are trying to manipulate them or sell something to them. Teach them clear and positive ways of talking about sex. Teach them to say ‘have sex with’ or ‘make love to’ or even ‘sleep with’. ANYTHING that isn’t negative or violent. Talk to them about the language – use the songs on the radio as an opportunity, a blessing in disguise and start to comment on the language. When something sexually aggressive or degrading comes on the TV, use co-viewing to start a debate or discussion about what you are seeing. Make a comment and ask their opinion. If you don’t teach your children about sex, the internet will. If you already watch a lot of porn, think about how different porn sex is to the real sex you’re having. Do you really want your sons or daughters thinking that porn sex is real? Do you really want your son choking teen girls? Do you really want your daughter to think that being forced to have anal is normal? If you don’t watch any porn and this blog has terrified the life out of you, have a bit of a search and see how quickly you come across violent porn. I bet it takes you less than 60 seconds of scrolling.

Professionals working with children and young people

If you are a professional, you can do absolutely everything I have listed for parents and you can also make it your mission to educate other professionals about the way language is changing to encourage the normalisation of sexual violence towards women and girls – especially as you may be working with young people you can influence through your direct work, counselling, youth work or in school sessions. I deliver porn workshops to children and trust me, they know WAY more about porn than you think. I learn something new about porn every time I talk to kids about porn. Don’t think that when you deliver your porn workshops in school, you will be shocking those teens – you will be talking to a large majority that have not only watched porn but have been significantly influenced by it. Seriously, I’ve taught teenage girls who have told me that they thought that having pubic hair was disgusting and weird because none of the women in porn have any. If you can’t face workshops about porn, build some on song lyrics and music videos – you will get all the same discussions. Teach other professionals, talk about the impact of porn, consider it in your line of work and if you can, talk to young people about porn and violence.

Other adults in society

If you are an adult in society but you don’t work with women or children or have any children of your own, you are still responsible for making our society safe for women and girls. We all are. Be aware of what you are listening to. Be aware of your language. Stop watching violent porn. Stop watching porn all together. Seek support if you feel you need help about the amount or the type of porn you are watching. If you are reading this and you know someone or you are someone who is turned on by violent porn, look for some support. If you want to affect change, get involved in anti-porn activism and help to change the world. Read up on the famous porn stars who have left the industry due to abuse, rape, drugging and injuries. Read their first-hand accounts of the violence and hatred in porn. Read Anti-Porn. Read Pornland. Read Porn Inc. Read about the abuse and rapes of Jenna Jameson and why she is now an anti-porn advocate. Educate yourself and seek to educate others. We already live in an extremely sexist world, we cannot let the language we use around sex become so inherently violent that the only way men and boys talk about sex with women and girls is to say to each other ‘Yeah man, I ruined her, I beat that shit up!’ If you hang out with friends like that, challenge them when they say it. If you are in a relationship where the sex always seems to be centred around hurting you or causing you pain, please seek help.

I don’t know about you, but I want my sex to be healthy, pleasurable, consensual and safe. I don’t want anyone to beat it up, hit it, nail it, destroy it or ruin it.

Boycott this language everywhere you hear it or see it.

As published by the author.

With special thanks to Suzzan Blac, Julie Bindel, Gail Dines and Julia Long for their tireless and selfless work in this subject.

Jessica Eaton is a speaker, writer and researcher in forensic psychology, sexual violence, feminism and mental health. Visit her website, follow her on Twitter, or email her at Jessica@victimfocus.org.uk.

If you have been affected by the content of this blog, please find some contacts you may find helpful below. If you don’t want to talk to a stranger or professional, talk to someone you love and trust. This topic is not easy to stomach sometimes and it is normal to be disturbed by sexual violence and abuse. Please don’t struggle alone.

1800RESPECT (1800 737 732)

The National Sexual Assault, Family & Domestic Violence Counselling Line for any Australian who has experienced or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault.

http://www.1800respect.org.au/

Lifeline (13 11 14)

A national number which can help put you in contact with a crisis service in your state. 24 hours, 7 days a week.
http://www.lifeline.org.au/

To access more services click here.

Collective Shout are very pleased to report that we have successfully defended our movement against legal threats from Sexpo, with the Federal Court in Brisbane dismissing an application  brought against Collective Shout by Sexpo Limited. Sexpo Limited was also ordered to pay Collective Shout’s costs.

It was in May 2017 that we were alerted to public buses servicing school routes in Perth that featured advertisements for Sexpo.  The ads included the web address for one of their sponsors, a broadcaster of live streamed sex shows.

Ad Standards dismissed complaints and rejected our request for a review. Case Manager Nikki Paterson claimed  that advertising live sex shows on the side of a bus was not a breach of the code. Our petition to prevent similar ads on Brisbane buses, due out the following month, attracted over 5000 signatures.

Brisbane Sexpo ads running on school buses, billboards- News.com.au

Sexpo’s lawyers threatened to sue Collective Shout for damages for “misleading and deceptive behaviour” under consumer law, citing social media posts by two staff members.

Sexpo claimed that Collective Shout was misleading because the bus ads promoting MyFreeCams.com did not share a url, and only included the words ‘My Free Cams’ with no .com to follow. They also denied that the image existed on a bus or any other physical medium. Take a look at a range of photographic evidence that proves otherwise:

In the weeks following the release of our petition, the ‘.com’ from the following billboard was blacked out:

Last month, The Honourable Justice Reeves dismissed Sexpo’s application against Collective Shout, concluding:

I do not consider Sexpo has established that it held a reasonable belief that it had suffered any harm to its commercial reputation as a consequence of Collective Shout’s alleged representations such that it may have a right to obtain relief in a claim against it. Sexpo’s application under r 7.23 must therefore be dismissed. I will order accordingly.

Justice Reeves also noted that Sexpo provided more than 500 pages of affidavit material in connection with their application, yet only three paragraphs were directly devoted to the existence of Sexpo’s belief about its right to obtain relief from Collective Shout, an argument ultimately rejected by the judge. Real the full judgment here.

The ruling against Sexpo is a significant victory- not just for Collective Shout and our supporters, but for all those who support the rights of children to live free from pornography. The sex industry in Australia has been permitted to target children with advertising for pornography and prostitution in public spaces for too long, and we are more committed than ever to stand up for the rights of children.
See also:

Sexpo organisers take on prominent feminists in Federal Court- Courier Mail 
Brisbane Sexpo ads running on school buses, billboards-News.com.au
Sexpo loses federal court bid against anti-sexualisation organisation- Brisbane Times
Corporate Paedophilia: Ad Standards Board justifies promoting porn sites to children

Reprinted from Collective Shout